Reflections

Reflections

I spent thirteen years from 1985 to 1998 gaining experience in the retirement plan business. Then on August 17, 1998, I joined the Retirement Services Division of MFS Investment Management.  Today, seventeen years later, through acquisitions by Sun Life of Canada, The Hartford, and ultimately MassMutual, I look back and affirm that the perseverance was so worth it!  For those that are interested, I thought I’d share a few things I’ve learned along the way...

• Success is the ability to get up one more time than when you fall;
• Experience is knowing a lot of things that don’t work; and
• Confidence is what we often have before we fully understand the situation.

So as you make your way through your life and career, look for opportunities, not conveniences.  Life is all about the choices we make and the consequences of those choices.  Every choice has a consequence.  Don’t make long-term decisions based on short-term frustrations. There will be people who inspire you and people who drain you.  Pick them wisely.  I’ve heard it said, “A bulldog can whoop a skunk any day, but it’s just not worth the stink.”  You’ll notice there are two kinds of people: Givers and Takers.  Take note, the Takers are the ones who are miserable.

The difference between an adventure and an ordeal is attitude.

...And attitudes are a choice.  Attitudes determine your outlook (actions) which determine your outcome (accomplishments).  

Idiosyncratically eccentric phraseology is the promulgator of triturable obfuscation.  In other words, big words lead to confusion. Speak simply and truthfully.  

A half-truth is not a whole-truth.  If it’s not a whole-truth, it’s a lie.  The problem with the human mind is that we have a hard time learning truths which are difficult and then we disregard truths that seem too simple.  By the way...It does matter what you believe, even if you are sincere.  Absolute truth doesn’t cease to exist just because one doesn’t believe in absolute truths.  And speaking of truth, never trust a person who says, “I don’t care what people think.”  They will lie to you about other things as well.

The Secret to a Successful Life: Learn God’s principles and cooperate with Him.  God is really big on you doing today, what He wants you to do and He will allow just about anything in your life if it will get you to trust in Him again.  The French Jesuit philosopher Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.  We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”  Never lose sight of the Big Picture.

You can’t control everything and there’s no sense worrying about what “might” happen.  As my momma used to tell me, “There’s no use worrying about a truck payment until you’ve got a truck.”  The degree to which you feel you have to be in control of everything, is how much you will feel stressed. What you value and consider most important ends up defining who you are.  Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress.  Working hard for something we love is called passion.  Find your passion.

We never change until the pain is greater than the fear of change.  I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it!

Ready or Not

According to a recent study by the Population Reference Bureau, 108 billion people have lived on this earth.  About 7 billion of those people are alive at this very moment.  This means that 101 billion people have lived and died.  Worldwide, 1.8 people die every second.  That’s 7,200 people each day.  About 20 to 30 people died in the time it took you to read this paragraph.

Are you ready?

Death is not a possibility. It is a determined fact.  You and I will die just as all of the others before us have done. (Sorry if I'm the bearer of bad news).

We all have different gifts, according to the grace given us.  Are you making use of those gifts?  If not, what are you waiting for?  Does the fear of failure hold you back?  Does the fear of being embarrassed, or getting hurt, or even getting killed keep you from acting now?

In his book, Take the Stairs, author Rory Vaden begins his introduction by saying that we live in a “ProcrastiNation.” He writes that “we all want to be successful and we all want to have a happy life, but we constantly look for the easy way.”

Regardless of our current emotional state, physical state, or financial situation, making the most of your time on earth is about self-discipline. 

The Clock is ticking...

Can you hear it?  Do you have a tough time avoiding distractions? Do you stare blankly at your unfinished to-do list at the end of the day? Do you regret every morning what you didn’t finish yesterday? Well, the clock is still ticking.

That doesn’t mean you should work like a robot 18 hours a day and get just enough sleep to get by.  However, it should remind you that there is something to do, and you are the only person who can do it!

(This is an excerpt from Making the Most of Your Time on Earth by D. Kirk Buchanan available from Amazon in print and on the Amazon Kindle.)

Too Many Friends?

How many "friends" do you have on your social networks? I just checked my Facebook account and I have 499 and quite a few more than that on LinkedIn, Twitter, Blogspot, etc.  And while that may sound like a lot, I have heard of others whose list of friends runs into the several thousands.

Now, my social networking friends are people I actually know.  LinkedIn is a great place to connect with business contacts and Facebook may (arguably) be better for non-business relationships.  Either way, these connections are family members, people from church, business associates, high school or college classmates, and so forth.  If I'm connected to someone on Facebook or LinkedIn, then I've had actual, human interaction with them at some point in time.  These social media tools are a great way to stay in touch.

But if I was going through a tough time, I wouldn't expect all 499 friends to walk with me -- and they're probably glad to hear that!  After all, while they may be interested to see a picture of my kids every now and then or see what I've been up to lately (if that), they aren't expecting to go beyond the virtual level.  It would probably be awkward for me to ask them for help or advice.  Those are things you need from your closest, most trustworthy companions.

King Solomon was one of the wisest men who ever lived.  In Proverbs 18:24, Solomon said a person with a lot of friends could be "ruined."  He wasn't saying we should limit our acquaintances.  Instead, he was encouraging us to nurture a few tight relationships with the kind of people who are "closer than a brother." Since the quality of our friends is way more important than the quantity, the Bible warns against gathering mere acquaintances who are likely to blow us off in time of need.  Although we may have accumulated hundreds, or even thousands, of friends in our social networking accounts, we cannot experience authentic love through online connections.

Many of our relationships do not deserve the title of friendship because they don't go much deeper than mere acquaintance. However, when a true friend faces a tough time, we provide support by being there and offering listening ears.

True friendship rests in our relationships developed over time and experiences through which we can show the depth of commitments even through difficult times.

That kind of loyalty is hard to find, but it is well worth the search.

Good vs. Better

Often our choices of how we spend our time can cause conflict with others who would make different choices. Our conflict may be with our spouse over how we are going to spend the weekend. It could be with our work over whether to work extra time on a project or go home early. It might be with our own schedule determining what we can and cannot do with our time.

We're halfway through March already! Are you doing what you said you'd be doing?

Now is the time to evaluate your time wasters. These are activities you do on a regular basis that you don’t particularly enjoy and that don’t produce any meaningful benefits. This could be anything from sitting in front of the television, to surfing the Internet, to creeping on your friends on Facebook, to tinkering in the garage. Once you’ve recognized the activities that take a good chunk of your time, you can take steps to change your behavior. You don’t necessarily have to eliminate them, but you do have to moderate them. Some things are not necessarily wrong, they’re just not necessary.

Every day we make choices based on priorities. That doesn't mean the other choice is wrong. It doesn't mean we won't have to eventually do all of the choices at some point. It means that in the act of making decisions, it isn't always about right and wrong, as much as it is about good and better.