Too Many Friends?

How many "friends" do you have on your social network? I just checked and I have 428.  And while that sounds like a lot, I have heard of others whose list of friends runs in the thousands.

Now, my social networking friends are people I actually know.  They are family members, people from church, business associates, high school or college classmates, and so forth.  I've had actual, human interaction with them at some point in time.

But if I was going through a tough time, I wouldn't expect all 428 friends to walk with me - and they're probably glad to hear that!  After all, while they may be interested to see a picture of my kids every now and then or see what I've been up to lately (if that!), they aren't expecting to go beyond the virtual level.  It would probably be awkward for me to ask them for help or advice.  Those are things you need from your closest, most trustworthy companions.

In Proverbs 18:24, Solomon said a person with a lot of friends could be "harmed."  He wasn't saying we should limit our acquaintances.  Instead, he was encouraging us to nurture a few tight relationships with the kind of people who are "closer than a brother."  Since the quality of our friends is way more important than the quantity, the Bible warns against gathering mere acquaintances who are likely to blow us off in time of need.  Although we may have accumulated hundreds, or even thousands, of friends in our social networking accounts, we cannot experience authentic love through online connections. 

Many of our relationships do not deserve the title of friendship because they don't go much deeper than mere acquaintance.  However, when a true friend faces a tough time, we provide support by being there and offering listening ears. 

True friendship rests in our relationships developed over time and experiences through which we can show the depth of commitments even through difficult times.

That kind of loyalty is hard to find, but it is well worth the search.

Do we truly value our relationships?

From acquaintances to friends to family to coworkers and business associates, our lives run on relationships. Even the most introverted person on the planet gets lonely sometimes. People need people. That's not by accident either. We were actually DESIGNED that way.

When you read through the book of Genesis, everything God did in the beginning was good. The first time God ever said anything was NOT good, is in the second chapter when He said it was NOT GOOD for man to be alone. It was then, after He had rested from creating the earth and everything in it, that he set about to determine a suitable companion for the first and only person. He stated that from all the GOOD things He had already created, there was none suitable. So he made woman! He made another (very different) human being with complementary attributes to the first human being. And He gave them the ability to make more human beings.

This was not an afterthought, though. God knew in advance, before He ever even started the creation of the world, that He would do it this way. We may wonder why He didn't just start out with two people in the first place. I think it's because He wants our relationships to BEGIN with HIM first.

Yes, we were made to have a relationship with our Creator first and foremost. But, we were also designed to have relationships with other people. We were never designed to go through this life on our own.

The journey of life is hard. To attempt to navigate through it without a copilot is impossible.

The latest book in the Making the Most... series

by D. Kirk Buchanan

To be published in early 2014

by

www.clairinchpress.com

www.MakingTheMost.org

Authenticity

At the core, you need to connect with your personal history and identify the key events, messages, and people that shaped who you are today. A good leader has to be many things to many people. The trick is to pull that off while remaining true to yourself. While it's easy to sniff out who's authentic and who's not, it's not so simple to recognize it in ourselves. 

Generosity pays

Traditional wisdom says business is a dog-eat-dog world, but evidence shows that the people who rise to the top may actually be the most generous.  Givers are a huge asset to the companies they work for because they make others more effective.  They have larger networks that make problem-solving faster and easier.  They take the initiative to mentor and train new hires.  They pick up the slack when others are overworked; and they foster a sense of loyalty among employees and customers.  

Let’s make it a habit to be generous.

It depends on your definition of close...

Is it possible to be too close to God? It depends on your definition of close. I can be close to someone on an elevator because it's crowded and we continue to bump shoulders. I can be so close that I have to pardon myself politely before squeezing out of the open door. That's proximity. I can be close to someone without knowing who he is. I can also be close to someone who is miles away because our lives, our heart, our stories are intimately connected. My best friend can live in another state and still be my closest friend.

If your view of closeness to God centers on a relationship of obedience and reverence, then by all means, get as close as you can. If your definition of closeness is proximity, tread lightly. He is the creator God of the universe who occupies a space and a realm we cannot begin to touch. There is a way to approach God and it is not casual or light. Through Christ, we have access to God's mighty throne of grace, but it is still a throne and should be treated as such.

Don't Take Advantage

“Do not take advantage of each other.” —Leviticus 25:17

Investing our money can be scary. The financial stakes are high, and we want to be sure the seller of those investments is not hiding something or shading the truth.  In Leviticus 25, God is talking about business. Through Moses, God instructs his people on the buying and selling of the gifts he has given them. The key, says God, is to avoid taking advantage of one another and to fear God. How we treat one another matters to God and reflects our relationship with him. We can’t love God without also considering what’s best for others.

Still, it can be easy to take one another for granted. Kids think their mom is always available to run a forgotten lunch or gym bag to school. Spouses make assumptions about who should pay the bills or have dinner ready. We expect that others will always be there to meet our needs, and we take them for granted.

Or we expect that people get what they deserve. If they won’t try harder or don’t know better, they deserve to pay a higher price or go without.

But God tells us to treat others well because of him. We may not think that others deserve our consideration or have earned our respect, but God’s love for us compels us to see others through his eyes.

Who needs a new look from you today?

Teams don’t work without teamwork.

It’s one thing to create a team, but quite another to create teamwork.  Just as it’s one thing to join a team, but quite another to perform as a team member.   It doesn’t mean everybody doing the same thing or everybody being able to do each other’s jobs.  It’s more of a collaborative way of working, where the sum is greater than the parts.  I like to say 1+1=3 (or more).  Properly managed, teamwork maximizes strengths, bringing out the best in each team member.

Givers or Takers?

Every day, we make decisions about whether to act like givers or like takers. When we act like givers, we contribute to others without seeking anything in return. We might offer assistance, share knowledge, or make valuable introductions. When we act like takers, we try to get other people to serve our own ends while carefully guarding our own expertise and time. Let's decide to be givers.

A Service Economy?

As Christians, our focus is to be on avoiding the things of the world that lead us away from a focus on God's kingdom. The disciples argued from time to time about who was the greatest. Today, we just refer to that as "keeping up with the Jones'" but it is still the same thing.

The world's perspective is do all you can do to be served by others and to get what you can to make your own life pleasurable and enjoyable. The kingdom perspective, however, is to do all you can do to serve others and to make Christ known. 

God gives us a choice. The choice is ours.

Honoring God with our Time

Part of honoring God is spending time with Him.  Can we spend time with Him without going to church? Certainly. We can pray. We can study our Bible. Can we grow in our relationship with Him without attending church?  Sort of, but not the way He intends.

You see, we were created for community.  We were never meant to go through this life on earth alone.  As you read through the account of creation in the first chapter of Genesis, you’ll find over and over that God said, “it was good.” Then, when we finally get to verse 18 of the second chapter, God says something that we often overlook.  He said something was NOT good.  You know what it was?  He said it was not good for man to be alone. 

He created us to be an interconnected community with Him at the center.  That means spending time with other believers.  That means spending time focusing our worship on Him.  That’s what church is.  It’s not a building; it’s a body of believers.  Having a building is a very nice convenience, and one we should all be thankful for.  But we shouldn't confuse the place with the purpose.  

an excerpt from 

Making the Most of Your Time on Earth

by D. Kirk Buchanan

Available at Amazon.com

Oh, you’re unemployed? Where do you volunteer?

“One can only wonder how many of America’s unemployed are taking the opportunity to volunteer at local charities. If you receive unemployment benefits, should you not be thanking society by giving back to it?

It’s completely understandable that you may not volunteer, because you’re actively seeking employment. However, there are many who have completely stopped looking and haven’t taken this opportunity.”

~ fixthepeople.com

It's Hard to Follow If You Are In the Lead

 In life, we all have opportunities to lead or to follow. Some people are born leaders and are very comfortable leading; others are more comfortable at just following.

It is very difficult to follow someone else, especially Jesus, when you and your plans are in the lead.  So, what about you? Are you following Jesus where He leads you?  Or are you out doing your own thing and hoping Jesus comes along with you?

Now there is a question for you. Here's a clue: If you can't see your leader, you are probably not following.

Don’t Let the Urgent Devour the Important in Your Life

Remember that you can do almost anything, but you cannot do everything. Whenever you start a task, you are automatically giving up everything else you could have done during that time.

Prioritizing means taking conscious control of your choices and choosing to spend more time on the things that are important and valuable, and less time on the ones that are not as important or valuable. 

This may sound obvious, but the fact is that the vast majority of people don’t put much thought into how they spend their time.  They just flow through life going wherever the current takes them, doing whatever grabs their attention next or repeating the same things day after day out of habit and routine.

What daily activities tend to consume your time and energy?

We should seek Scriptural Priorities in our day-to-day lives.

When we seek Scriptural priorities, we discover those relationships, activities, and pursuits that should precede others in term of rank and order.  I believe God wants us to prioritize all of the possible activities in life according to these spiritual priorities.  

The Kingdom of God.  “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). 

Love for God. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30). 

Love for Jesus.  “He who loves father or mother more than Me [Jesus] is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me” (Matthew 10:37). 

The Lord Jesus Christ.  “He Himself [Christ] will come to have first place in everything” (Colossians 1:18). 

Things in heaven.  “Keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:1-2). 

The spiritual goal of heaven.  “One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).

Good deeds.  “Learn to engage in good deeds” (Titus 3:14).  “…zealous for good deeds.” (Titus 2:14)  “Be careful to engage in good deeds” (Titus 3:8).

We should seek to minimize the Unimportant Activities in our lives.

We cannot eliminate many parts of our life.  We must work in order to provide for ourselves. We need enough sleep to maintain our health and strength.  We need to eat well enough to sustain good health.  We need to exercise regularly to promote energy, good health and well-being.  We need a certain amount of relaxation, although this can often become misused.  We also need to cultivate good relationships with people.

A quiet time is a tremendous privilege we’ve been given. The creator of the universe invites us to spend time with him every day. What if your favorite actor, musician, or athlete asked you to spend time with him or her every day.  Would you say, “Sorry, I don’t have time for you”? Probably not!  So why do we say “no” to God's invitation to spend time with Him? We’re missing out on so much when we do.

3 Basic Steps:

1. Keep your life balanced.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is time for worship and service just like there is time for friends and leisure time. Be aware of the importance of giving God his place in your life.

2. Don't get caught up with negative influences. Stay away from worldly infections which will hinder your growth and relationship with God. Be aware of what affects your attitude, your thoughts, your actions and your desire to be better. Be aware of temptations around you which only want to separate you from the goals God has for you. Be firm when setting your priorities and follow through with God's plan for you.

3. Allow your spirit to grow. 2 Corinthians 5:10; Romans 14:10-12  

Prayer time and reading your bible will allow your faith to strengthen. Make sure to engage in daily time with God to allow this to happen.

We must seek to Do the Right Thing.

The key is to have the courage, integrity, and character to do the right thing in spite of the pressure and urgency you feel.

5 Practical Questions

Questions have the power to instantly change your focus and put you into a productive frame of mind. Here are five questions you can ask yourself habitually throughout the day to help you make the best use of your time. These questions will immediately direct your focus, your attention, and your thinking towards your top priorities and away from distractions.

1. What is the most valuable use of my time right now?

The purpose of this question is to focus your mind on what is most important and valuable at this moment. It is a perfect question to ask whenever you are unsure about what to work on next, whenever you face an unexpected interruption, or whenever you feel that you are not making good use of your time.

2. What am I ultimately trying to accomplish?

The purpose of this question is to focus your thinking on your real objectives and goals; the real reasons you are working on your projects and tasks.

3. What am I giving up to do this?

Remember that whenever you choose to do something, you automatically choose not to do everything else you could have done during that time.

The purpose of this question is to help you realize what you are giving up in order to undertake some other task or project. Once you recognize the true cost of any activity, you may decide that it’s not how you really want to spend your time.

4. What are my three most important projects or tasks today?

The purpose of this question is to help you make use of the 80/20 rule each and every day by identifying the top two or three most important projects and tasks, which could account for up to 80 percent of your day’s value.

5. Should I continue doing this?

This is a slight variation of the first two questions but shifts the focus toward what to stop doing rather than what to start doing.

An essential step in living your priorities is to pause when you have an unexpected event or interruption and recognize that you are about to decide whether it is a “first thing” or not.

Instead of just reacting to the unexpected based on your immediate needs and pressures, you can pause to make a conscious choice based on a longer‑term perspective.

Your power to consciously choose how to react to the unexpected events and circumstances around you lies at the very core of effective prioritization of time.

Making the Most of Your Time on Earth

The problem is not with time

The problem is not with time.  It’s not a lack of time.  The problem is with our choices.

The problem is not that we don’t have enough time.  The problem is we don’t use it wisely. We make poor choices. And poor choices become the source of stress and strain in our lives.  We are not at the mercy of our circumstances, or what is being thrown at us.   We have the freedom to choose.

We all have the exact same amount of time.  You and I and everybody around us have 168 hours a week.  So the people who are more effective than you, the people who are more successful, the people who get more done than you, what’s the difference?  Do they have more time?  No. They just make better choices.

And that’s your choice. The power of choice is in your hands. 

Making the Most of Your Time on Earth

by D. Kirk Buchanan

Available at Amazon.com

Learn from your Competition

Rivalry is often a form of envy: Your competitor has a trait or skill you (sometimes grudgingly) admire. If you find something incredibly irritating about him, think about whether it’s because you lack the very competency you’re criticizing.

Professional rivalries can be a powerful vehicle for self-discovery — if you step back and think analytically about them. Learning where you're weak, what values you cherish, and how to think big are important advantages.

Consider the ant!

You ever notice how ants always seem busy?  But did you know they also sleep up to seven hours a day?  They work when it’s time to work and rest when it’s time to rest!  What a novel idea!

 “Go to the ant, you sluggard. Consider her ways, and be wise; which having no chief, overseer, or ruler, provides her bread in the summer, and gathers her food in the harvest.  How long will you sleep, sluggard? When will you arise out of your sleep?  A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: so your poverty will come as a robber, and your scarcity as an armed man.” (Proverbs 6:6-11)

We all have to fight the urge to be lazy sometimes, but there’s a big difference between being lazy and resting.  There’s a time for rest and a reason for rest.  Resting at the proper time will make you more productive at the proper time.

The enjoyment of leisure would be nothing if we had only leisure. It is the satisfaction of work well done that enables us to enjoy rest, just as it is the experiences of hunger and thirst that make food and drink such pleasures.

There’s delicate balance between hard work and rejuvenation.  Take your holidays!  Take your vacation!  That’s not being lazy.  That’s sharpening your axe.  When you return, work diligently.

Working hard is commendable.  Working smart is smart.  Sacrificing everything for work is foolish. Working hard and smart…that should be our goal.

Making the Most of Your Time on Earth

(now available)

Wordiness is everywhere

Many people skim and scan more than they actually read.  Readers are busy. Unnecessary words slow them down. Every word should matter.

"Value First" beats "Value-Add" any day!

For years I've been hearing the term “Value Added.” 

To me, it means that when a product or service becomes a commodity, just add a little extra value, which really means just add another service.

I have come to the conclusion that to truly differentiate ourselves, we must “Give Value First.” Given our competitive environment this may seem like a strange concept, but think of it this way: When we “Give Value First,” we are taking control of the situation, not reacting to it. 

It goes along with doing the right thing, no matter what the outcome may be. 

Why are you here?

New Year's Day was a month ago.  Now it's February already!  So let me ask again... Why are you here? Do you want this to be another year that flies by, half-hearted, arid, rootless, barely remembered, dull with dim glimpses of what might have been? Or do you want this to be a year that you savor, for the rest of your surprisingly short time on Earth, as the year you started, finally, irreversibly, uncompromisingly, to explosively unfurl a life that is fully worth living?

The choice is yours. And it always has been.

Making the Most of Your Time on Earth

(click here to order)

Stop Wasting Time Being Busy

We must learn to

stop wasting time

being busy.

For some reason, many people have a misguided need to be busy as a way of justifying their existence. 

Evaluate your time wasters.  These are activities you do on a regular basis that you don’t particularly enjoy and that don’t produce any meaningful benefits. This could be anything from sitting in front of the television, to surfing the Internet, to creeping on your friends on Facebook, to tinkering in the garage. Once you’ve recognized the activities that take a good chunk of your time, you can take steps to change your behavior.  You don’t necessarily have to eliminate them, but you do have to moderate them.  Some things are not necessarily wrong, they’re just not necessary.  However, if it is a purposeful use of your time to relax and rejuvenate, then by all means, use it to sharpen your axe.  But be purposeful. 

Pause for just a moment and think about how much time you waste on petty things…

Suppose you lived your life as if the next moment or the next day was your last, then how differently would you live?  What’s on your list of petty things to stop doing as of right now?  

An excerpt from Making the Most of Your Time on Earth by D. Kirk Buchanan.  Available at your favorite online bookstore beginning February 1, 2013.